Cover Snark, ahoy!
Amanda: I think we can all agree they’re both staring at his dongus.
Sarah: OR AT HIS LIL’ DINGO.
Sneezy: He seems mighty displeased by what he sees.
Catherine: Given his arm placement, I don’t think he is just looking at his lil’ dingo.
Ellen: All I can think is A WILD DINGO APPEARS!! And dingo is a euphemism.
Shana: I think the nipple and veins are mesmerizing, but not in a good way.
Also, the blurb calls him “the dark-haired arrogant prince who’d vowed to charm his way into her heart.”
Amanda: I was immediately taken back to my college film classes. “So is this what they mean by chiaroscuro?”
Elyse: I hate that the nipple is staring at me.
Tara: I can’t tell if he has goosebumps or if they gave his skin a sandpaper effect.
Sneezy: Tara, I second that. The dude needs to go see a dermatologist.
Sarah: He’s clearly rather cold. Please allow him to put on a shirt?
Tara: That shirt would also solve the problem of the creepy, staring nipple…
Catherine: Thirding the dermatology referral. That skin is just not right.
Ellen: I, too, am very concerned for his health.
Lara: Can we have a special post on the horror that is a light font with a black border…as evident in this masterpiece….
Tara: That’s some real commitment to it.
Elyse: Are his legs missing below the knee?
Sarah: He floats! He’s a witch!
Ellen: HE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!!
I am somewhat ashamed to admit that the thing that bothers me most about this cover is the missing comma in the title. It should DEFINITELY be “Fitzwilliam Darcy, Traitor”
CarrieS: Given the windswept moors I have a suspicion that this might be one of those “Austen and Brontes are the same, right?” books. (They aren’t).
Amanda: His abs look like a fresh batch of parker house rolls.
Tara: I thought the title was Ivy James at first.
Shana: It’s not? Oh wait, yes. That title placement is very strange.
Also, his eyes look dead inside.
Amanda: Well his abs have been scooped out and replaced with bread.
Maya: He looks like an extremely sleepy Chris Messina
Amanda: I’d tuck Mr. Messina into bed, if you catch my drift.
Ellen: It looks like the abs from a Ken doll have been photoshopped on a real human torso and that upsets me.
CarrieS: Why would a person wear a jacket and no shirt? And not zip it? Is he cold, or not?