Cover Snark: Lil’ Dingo

Cover Snark, ahoy!

Dingo Wild by Lexxie Couper. A shirtless man and a dingo in the outback are both gazing at the man's crotch.

Amanda: I think we can all agree they’re both staring at his dongus.

Sarah: OR AT HIS LIL’ DINGO.

Sneezy: He seems mighty displeased by what he sees.

Catherine: Given his arm placement, I don’t think he is just looking at his lil’ dingo.

Ellen: All I can think is A WILD DINGO APPEARS!! And dingo is a euphemism.

Sheikh's Bed by Rachel Cade. A man's bare chest is lit from the side, making every goosebump, vein, and perky nipple really stand out.

Shana: I think the nipple and veins are mesmerizing, but not in a good way.

Also, the blurb calls him “the dark-haired arrogant prince who’d vowed to charm his way into her heart.”

Amanda: I was immediately taken back to my college film classes. “So is this what they mean by chiaroscuro?”

Elyse: I hate that the nipple is staring at me.

Tara: I can’t tell if he has goosebumps or if they gave his skin a sandpaper effect.

Sneezy: Tara, I second that. The dude needs to go see a dermatologist.

Sarah: He’s clearly rather cold. Please allow him to put on a shirt?

Tara: That shirt would also solve the problem of the creepy, staring nipple…

Catherine: Thirding the dermatology referral. That skin is just not right.

Ellen: I, too, am very concerned for his health.

Fitzwilliam Darcy Traitor by Jennifer Joy. A broody man appears to be disappearing below the knees while the heroine blatantly ignores him. The title font is bright yellow outlined in black.

Lara: Can we have a special post on the horror that is a light font with a black border…as evident in this masterpiece….

Tara: That’s some real commitment to it.

Elyse: Are his legs missing below the knee?

Sarah: He floats! He’s a witch!

Tara:

Monty Python's Holy Grail - Burn The Witch

Ellen: HE TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!!

I am somewhat ashamed to admit that the thing that bothers me most about this cover is the missing comma in the title. It should DEFINITELY be “Fitzwilliam Darcy, Traitor”

CarrieS: Given the windswept moors I have a suspicion that this might be one of those “Austen and Brontes are the same, right?” books. (They aren’t).

Blind Man's Bluff by Ivy James. The whole cover is washed out in a sepia tone. The hero looks sad, maybe because the zipper on his cozy fleece jacket is broken.

Amanda: His abs look like a fresh batch of parker house rolls.

Tara: I thought the title was Ivy James at first.

Shana: It’s not? Oh wait, yes. That title placement is very strange.

Also, his eyes look dead inside.

Amanda: Well his abs have been scooped out and replaced with bread.

Maya: He looks like an extremely sleepy Chris Messina

Amanda: I’d tuck Mr. Messina into bed, if you catch my drift.

Ellen: It looks like the abs from a Ken doll have been photoshopped on a real human torso and that upsets me.

CarrieS: Why would a person wear a jacket and no shirt? And not zip it? Is he cold, or not?

Musement

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